Ha, ha, ha, this is Great stuff for all lovers of really, really bad
film. This may for sure be the worst WIP movie ever made, but probably
Jesús Franco has
that honour and i must shamefully admit that i've seen many, many a
WIP movie through the years. Why? Well, the whole genre
is done mostly tongue-
in-cheek and the films are quite funny, because the whole premise for
the films are so ridiculous and absurd, comedies really .... and, let's
see what more
intellectual excuses i can come up with ... eeh ... aah ... no, NO ?
OK, i give up, it's because of the boobs, there it is.... THE BOOBS,
So, stop the smears, i get it, aha, i'm a lifeform below the cockroach,
OK, a man with a penchant of slipping into reptile brain mode now and
Being a Man you'e have some serious questions and wonderings about our
existence in the universe and the meaning of life to answer, and wise
from philosophers of the Antique to modern day quantum physicists, filmdirectors
and writers and on a decidely lower level, guys like me, we have all
reached the same conclusion that all melts down to BIG 4, the
4 big questions of mankind, the answers to what really goes
on in :
The Girls Locker Room
or, in variations on that theme - The Girls Dormitory
- The Nuns Dormitory or - The Female Prison Dormitory and Shower.
And, the answer that so many filmdirectors and novelists, after serious
life-long studies has reached, is: Sex, copious amounts of lesbian sex,
and sex-crazed teenagers, nuns and female prisoners.
The absolutely essential scene in any Women in Prison movie must be
The Shower Scene, sometimes
spiced up with a glorious catfight and if it all ends with the adversaries
having conciliation sex, then everyone's happy, and the viewers too.
This trashy French production tries to rip off the most
famous and popular films of the genre, the Ilsa film series with the
genre icon Dyanne Thorne as the
She Wolf of the SS but fails miserably. The Helga film has no shower
scene and Helga is a kitten compared to Ilsa's tigress. But still, if
you desperately want
to erase some 90 + minutes from your too long life, this film may do
fine, and Malisa Longo looked great walking around with her horsewhip
and a smirk.
Malisa Longo and Patrizia Gori
A Latin America country that's obviously situated someplace
in Europe somewhere, in France or Germany probably, has problems with
a guerilla uprising
and Helga (Longo) is given the command over the Fort Stilberg, a prison
for female political prisoners.
Luscious Helga has sex with one of the male soldiers but prefers having
sex with the female inmates and if they reject her invites to her bedroom
furious and she instead flogs them down in the castle dungeons. Helga
loves to ride her horse and always carries her horsewhip.
Most of the prisoners rejects her though, and Helga
is often seen lying in her bed smoking cigarillos, looking sad and stroking
herself. Poor lonely Helga.
One day a new prisoner is taken in, and that's Elizabeth Vogel (Patrizia
Gori) the daughter of the rebel leader and Helga desperately wants to
have sex with
her. We know that Vogel is the "Final Girl" type of role,
the one that will manage to escape and start a rebellion. Why? She's
the only one that won't show
her boobs and be nude. There are no Nazis in this film and it seems
to be a rip-off of the 4th Dyanne Thorne movie, Wanda the Wicked Warden
Ohne Männer). This film is delightfully Bad, with Helga walking
up and down in stairs, military vehicles driving around, all the female
prisoners lying around
in their dormitory completely naked with the exception of their knee-lenghth
boots. BUT is has got a lot of nudity and the beautiful Malisa Longo,
so ... ?
The film is presented in some widescreen (ratio not
mentioned on sleeve) and with an english audio DD stereo (and with a
french original audio without any
english subtitles). Clothed alternate scenes at the end and alternate
credits dito (not from the meny). Region free
This epic masterpiece was produced by French Eurocine and Les Films