I really, REALLY, had low expectations for this movie and it took me
5-7 years to finally bother to see it, after all the bad wording.
All Argento this side of the millennia have been trash-fest watchings,
almost if one of my all-time favourite directors have had his idiot
making them. It's a mystery that Dario somehow turned into an incompetent
and after the 1987 Opera the magic was gone. OK, it went away gradually
as some of his 1990's one's still had some of the Argento moments flourishing,
not often, but sometimes. Then it was all gone ....
However, i do think Argento are somewhat enjoyable still,
but then due to the trashiness and ineptitude for all to enjoy. With
this his Dracula version
he actually starts off quite promising and the first 30 minutes are
OK. The build-up is OK, the sets look fine, the cinematography from
is good, the costumes looks good and the soundtrack by Claudio Simonetti
is fine too - in fact, it looks like an old Dracula movie - But,
Then it turns into a MESS. Enter Thomas Kretschmann
and Goodbye film
Thomas Kretschmann as Dracula: The Lord of the Flies
And it goes downhill from there and the film turn into
an incoherent chaos with a love story as badly scripted, directed and
acted as the one in the
turkey The Phantom of the Opera between Julian Sands and Asia Argento.
Catastrophe. Embarrassing and i feel bad about poor Kretschmann who
had to live through this nadir of his career (OK, i've only seen him
in 2 films as i can remember, The Stendahl Syndrome and the 2017 A Taxi
with Song Kang-ho where he was perfectly fine).
Kretschmann as Dracula and also appearing as a CGI- owl, -wolf, -swarm
of flies and a -giant Mantis, Unax Ugalde as Jonathan Harker and Marta
Gastini as Mina Harker all SUCK. Rutger Hauer as Van Helsing too but
Asia as frau Kiesslinger is OK ... and, she's NUDE, kudos to that.
Miriam Giovanelli as Tanya
To be completely honest, and you may call me pig as
much as you want, but the best 2 things about this movie were Miriam
Giovanelli's boobs, very,
very impressive and unfortunately she's turned into a Vampiress underling
to the bore Dracula only, and too early exits the movie in a bad CGI
poooof ! The 2nd best thing in the movie was Asia Argento (i have always
loved her) and her bathtub scene, the 3rd best was the Mantis scene.
So, what do i mean by this, 2 nude women as favourite moments of the
film ? Should Argento abandon all efforts in trying to make a real coherent
Yes, he could as well make porn movies as his visual powers nowadays
seems most suited to depict nude women.
This UK Altitude Films DVD is presented in anamorphic
widescreen 1.77:1 and with an english audio 5.1, extra a trailer
Ooooh, i forgot to tell something about the story .....
eeehm .... a village, Passburg .... something .... Dracula's castle
.... eeehm, Zzzzzzz .... snore ....